Testing Waters…(Part Ten)

Post #39

Emotions were slowly deepening as sentiments like “RAWR” were now being shared via texting. Although a little childish perhaps, the word exchanged meant something nonetheless and it was a small symbol of the love we shared and felt for one another.  It made sense to me as saying the other 3 words would not have been right given our situation and “RAWR” just kept things light even though we felt deeper than that.  

Slow Moving…(Part Nine)

Post #38

Wow 38 posts…it seems like a lot but over three years it really doesn’t seem that big at all.  I think I need to start writing more…but the thing is is that I feel I need to have stuff happen in my life to write about it.  I just can’t sit down and post about my day or some minute thing…I don’t feel there is enough substance for a post to be created but perhaps it is something I need to try to find out.  What do you think?

So here I am starting chapter nine of this series and shaking my head because I seriously thought that this story ended at chapter five.  I mean you have no idea how thankful I am that it didn’t and that I ended up having material to write chapters six thru eight and hopefully even after writing this chapter I will be able to continue telling my story to you the readers about TF and I.  Let’s Hope.

Taking Chances…(Part Eight)

Post #37

As I hope you can see this post is part eight, so I would suggest that if you want to continue reading that you go and find parts one thru seven before scrolling down…

Thank you.

So I finally get home and the thoughts had not stopped nor had the tears.  I was saying goodbye to TF for the second time and I was not happy about that. It was not supposed to go that way.

I had lost him again…

The pain of the loss and the familiar void I knew all too well enveloped me instantly.  I felt it all wash over me as I played back the scene in my mind’s eye of him and I in his car saying goodbye.  Why didn’t we fight? Why didn’t we try to salvage what we both thought was so unique? Why was I so hurt when I knew that sending that email to him could have been the thing that led us to our demise and yet I was so stunned that we actually said goodbye (again). What world was I living in where I didn’t think good byes could happen more than once? I was living in a world where I thought he would come to his senses and chase after me – like I live in hollywood right? Where two people come together, have a great romance, get into a fight, they part and he realizes what he had and tries to win her back, which he does and their lives come together magically and (poof ) utopia is reached.   But nope, I live in flippin’ Ontario where people meet, hearts break, people part, and stay apart and lives go on, there are no white knights and very seldom happy endings, just struggle.  Depressed? I am.

Full Circle… (Part Seven)

Post # 36

This is part seven so please read parts one thru six before continuing.  Thank you and enjoy.

So there we were.
After almost three years of no communication, within one month TF and I had reconnected, had met and were now talking daily.  What a turnaround!

Life had been restored. I felt a difference in my daily living and I looked forward, even anticipated my talks with TF.  Although electronic communication was the only communication we did, it still brought a new bounce to my step and I loved every minute of it.  I found myself smiling for no reason.  I was so happy to have him back in my life.

However as happy as I was, I continued dating.  I had been talking to a guy named CC who I met off of a dating website that I can’t remember the name of.  Obviously it went really well right?  LOL.  At first CC reminded me a lot of TF in terms of his thoughtfulness and compliments – he called me beautiful a lot and it made me smile.  He made me feel special. CC and I also communicated solely through texting and we talked on the phone once and had planned to meet in person.  I was quite excited and spoke with TF about CC.  TF was supportive and wished me well stating that I deserved to find someone who made me really happy.  I was hoping CC was going to be that person.  The only downfall was that CC lived 3 hours away.  Ya, I know.  So anyway, needless to say CC and I did not meet and thank God for Facebook as I found out he had children. Yes that’s right, children, something he forgot to mention when I asked him if he had any. That relationship although lasting two months was short lived but whatever, I’m used to the disappointment by now.

Tattoos…

Post #35

So I am here to update you on the tattoos.  I now have two…yes that’s right…two.  The first one I got SW and I decided on an infinity symbol — see below.  She got it on her wrist while mine is located on my upper back and didn’t really hurt at all.  The anticipation is what killed me.  Not knowing what it would feel like made me claw at my skin, literally, to the point where I was red and almost bleeding.  SW had to get our tattooist 13th Vixen to start on me just so I would know. After the first minute, I was good to go.

Flames Reunited…(Part Six)

Post #34

Im sitting here thinking about how I should start this post…the sixth part to the original five part series. So for those of you just reading, please read the first five parts of this story before continuing.

I sit here unsure but excited as I never thought that there would be a part six (maybe even seven) but I read the whole series to my good friend KC the other day and she suggested that I continue the story with the events that have unfolded over the last few months.  So I thought about it and I think she is right. So here is part six…enjoy!

First Tattoo…cont’d

Post #33

So from my last post you read that SW and I were going to get a ribbon tattoo on our wrist.  Well….things have changed a little.  SW recommends that I get something smaller and probably in a place that may not hurt as much since she said that the hand is known to hurt due to all the bones and thinner skin….so….we have come up with a new design and a new place.

First Tattoo…

Post #32

So below is the picture of the tattoo that my best friend SW and I are thinking of getting.  It will be my first tattoo and her like 14th and it’s weird because I was always set against getting a tattoo because they are permanent and I could never find a design that I would be completely comfortable with having on my body for the rest of my life….

Short Lived…(Part 5b)

Post #31

Seems I am on quite the roll tonight with posting. Lucky readers! However this will be my last post for the evening as I am tired and need to go to bed.

So this post will be shorter however it is the continuation of my five part series…please read prior to this post: New Friends, Broken Hearts, Tables Turned, Closing Doors, and The End (in that order)

Online Dating Disaster….again!

Post #30

From my last entry which was just moments ago you read about GB and another online dating disaster.  Well I have another one for you that is more recent. Now if you have been following my blog at all you might have read another post of mine called Hell Date. Well needless to say I have had yet another Hell Date experience and I wanted to share.

His name is JH. We met online of course at the new Evow site that is a separate dating site under the umbrella of Plenty of Fish.

I, since GB have not gone on any online dating sites. I said what I was going to do and I took a break.  Have I missed it? Not really. I’ve learned that I really like being single and on my own.  I celebrated my three year anniversary of singleness (if that is indeed a word) in October and it felt good as I feel I still have work to do on me and in order for me to truly find a relationship that I am going to be satisfied with, I have to first be satisfied with myself. Do I feel I am there yet? Not yet but like I said I am working on it.