Post # 29

This should be the last post in this five part series of writings.  In the end I hope I have given a very detailed account of my relationship with TF and how he affected my life.  I am sure many readers have thought about why I have written this in such a way where I came across as being conceded, presumptuous and probably a little smug.  The answer….I didn’t write this entirely for them, the readers, I wrote it ultimately for me.  The reason…I needed to release this story so I no longer feel that I own the pain.  I needed to get it out of my thoughts so I may perhaps get to the point of being able to let him go. In saying that, I also wanted to share my story with others, the good and the bad, whomever wants to read it, as all of it was a part of my life, it was a part of me and whether I like it or not, it always will be.

For those of you who have read from the beginning, thank you.  Thank you for taking the time to read my story and share in the events of my life.  I hope you have enjoyed thus far what you have read and I encourage you to continue to read as I post future writings.

Where was I….The phone call…

Post # 28

It’s amazing how different songs mean different things to each person and how one song can affect someone so much.  I recently bought the Avril Lavigne CD “Under My Skin” and while listening to one song, ‘Take Me Away’ I really felt it spoke to me and explained in basic terms what I have been feeling in regards to the whole TF situation.

I thought I would share….

Post # 27

I am sure by now some of my comments in previous posts have hinted that this story doesn’t have a fairy tale ending…and being the smart cookies that you are, you are right…however the day that I went to meet TF for lunch I never imagined that in a few months my prince would ride away and become only a figure in my memory.  Never in the 10 years that I had known him did I EVER believe that there would come a time where we would no longer talk or be friends, where we would be completely detached and apart….

Let’s begin…

The lunch date was scheduled I believe the end of January, beginning of February 2008, just a few months before the wedding.  I wanted to give him time to think of what he wanted to do before he went ahead and tied the knot and then realized that we were meant to be together.   Some people thought I was wrong in telling him but I felt that TF and I never hid anything from each other regardless of what it was and he had always been so open with his feelings that I only felt that it was fair that I tell him exactly what I was feeling.  So I drove to our lunch date feeling hopeful…

Post # 25

I cried for the first time in months tonight…actually the last time I cried I had come to realize that I had lost my best friend.  It is amazing how easy it is to walk down the self-destructive path…and in my minds eye all I see is everything that I hate about me and my life.  I have been doing this a lot lately (criticizing myself) and I can see why I have perhaps stumbled into a bout of depression.

The posts in this category discuss my recent experiences with online dating sites. The blogs here are in a particular order so please read the date the blog was written and read accordingly. It makes much more sense if you do this.

Thanks for reading!

~ Purplehaze81