Post #31

Helllloooooooo, and where have you been?  Who me? Yes you! Well, what can I say…it truly has been a long time since I posted and there is absolutely no excuse from my laziness.

The last post I wrote which I reviewed only yesterday made me laugh because at the end I started mentioning a new guy in my life…???…ummmm, who was that now?  Obviously not who I thought he was going to be.  If I remember correctly, he was in and out of my life so fast it didn’t feel like anything at all.  So, that won’t take up too much of my thoughts.

But, I can say with more certainty that there is a new beau in my life and has been for about 8 months now.  Now this is a bit of an interesting/uncommon story, I think anyway, and by other people’s comments as I tell them about our relationship, my assessment is not that far off…so let me begin…

Post # 29

This should be the last post in this five part series of writings.  In the end I hope I have given a very detailed account of my relationship with TF and how he affected my life.  I am sure many readers have thought about why I have written this in such a way where I came across as being conceded, presumptuous and probably a little smug.  The answer….I didn’t write this entirely for them, the readers, I wrote it ultimately for me.  The reason…I needed to release this story so I no longer feel that I own the pain.  I needed to get it out of my thoughts so I may perhaps get to the point of being able to let him go. In saying that, I also wanted to share my story with others, the good and the bad, whomever wants to read it, as all of it was a part of my life, it was a part of me and whether I like it or not, it always will be.

For those of you who have read from the beginning, thank you.  Thank you for taking the time to read my story and share in the events of my life.  I hope you have enjoyed thus far what you have read and I encourage you to continue to read as I post future writings.

Where was I….The phone call…

Post # 27

I am sure by now some of my comments in previous posts have hinted that this story doesn’t have a fairy tale ending…and being the smart cookies that you are, you are right…however the day that I went to meet TF for lunch I never imagined that in a few months my prince would ride away and become only a figure in my memory.  Never in the 10 years that I had known him did I EVER believe that there would come a time where we would no longer talk or be friends, where we would be completely detached and apart….

Let’s begin…

The lunch date was scheduled I believe the end of January, beginning of February 2008, just a few months before the wedding.  I wanted to give him time to think of what he wanted to do before he went ahead and tied the knot and then realized that we were meant to be together.   Some people thought I was wrong in telling him but I felt that TF and I never hid anything from each other regardless of what it was and he had always been so open with his feelings that I only felt that it was fair that I tell him exactly what I was feeling.  So I drove to our lunch date feeling hopeful…

Post #14

Went out last night to my best friend’s place. Just him, his fiancee and me. I am just now getting to know more about his wife-to-be and I am liking her more and more with each meeting. I am glad he has decided to let us mingle a little more and hope it continues.

Anyways…the main reason for my post is what happened as the night went on…

At one point in the evening my friend and his bride to be asked me if I wanted to smoke a joint with them. My first thought was “Ummm, No!” but then I thought about it a little more and concluded that my initial reaction was due to my past experiences and I wanted to leave those in the past. I thought again, and about the company I was in and became a little more comfortable with the environment. You see it has been over 7 years for me since I smoked up and I was never big on the idea anyway. However, the real deciding factor was who I was with. This friend and I have been best friends for like ever and I don’t think I would want to do it with anyone but him as I feel very safe in his company. So, I thought, “well why not, let’s see if it affects you the same way as it did way back then.” Yep, it did! I so tried to contain myself as we all sat there on the couch. I mean, weed for some reason, makes me become a giggling girly…LOL. I can laugh and do laugh at anything and will continue to laugh at whatever made me laugh in the first place for hours. Needless to say, there were bouts of laughter and I tried very hard to remain composed which for the most part I was, which was good <thumbs up> I didn’t want to give my friends the wrong impression. Now, normally I also become quite paranoid and at one point during the evening my best friend got up and went towards the window, I started getting a little unsure but he was just grabbing a blanket but my anxiety started up but slowly disappeared. I enjoyed the relaxing feeling that came with the drug but for some reason always feel like I shouldn’t be doing or feeling this way. I guess it is my paranoia. Anyways, my biggest question I have asked myself since this morning was…would I do it again? I am not 100% fixed on my answer and will have to think about it some more, but I am more open to the thought of doing it again, so that tells me something.

Will keep you updated….

Until Next Time,

‘Life – It Is What It Is’

~ Purplehaze81 ~

Post #10

Saturday night…sittin’ here at home in bed not doing much and for some reason I find myself thinking of you. I just want to talk to you all the time. You have become such an important person in my life and I cling to the thought that it will always be this way. I wanted to dedicate a post specifically to you because I want to display just how much you mean to me. You are always there for me when I need you and you have always been the one I could depend on regardless of what you were dealing with in your life. I always felt first and important. I could never have ever asked for someone more understanding, thoughtful, considerate, and communicative in my entire life. You truly are one of a kind. You make me feel beautiful and desired. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

You are my best friend

Love you now and always.

Until next time,

‘Life – It Is What It Is’

~Purplehaze81 ~

Post #8

Looking for something different to read? Check out my friend’s blog page:

http://dubgateway.homeip.net/wordpress/

Of course I would love for you to continue reading my posts as they come. Sorry about the delay, just trying to get some things organized.

Until Next Time,

‘Life: It Is What It Is’

~ Purplehaze81 ~

Post #6

As I mentioned in a previous post RG asked me what I look for in a potential partner. He has indicated to me that the reasoning behind his question, was to a) hear my response and b) his curiousity. Here I thought he had someone in mind for me…LOL.

As I continue to think about my response to his question, I thought I would ask you what characteristics you are looking for in a potential partner…and if you already have a partner, what characteristics do they have that seem to keep you around? Has this list changed over time? If yes, how come? Do you think it will change as you get older? What are the MOST crucial characteristics that this person MUST have as a minimum? Where do you think your idea of your ‘perfect’ partner comes from? Do you have a ‘perfect’ partner in your mind?

You answer first and when I feel ready and satisfied with my answer I will then post it. It won’t be too long…I promise

Hope this gives you something to think about and that you do reply to the questions I have asked in a comment post.

Until next time,

‘Life – It Is What It Is’

~ Purplehaze81 ~