Post # 30

So I decided that I was going to give online dating another go.  Ask me why as I have had such great luck on them already, but hey, you never know.

So I logged back in to all the typical ones, Lavalife, Singlesnet, Plentyoffish (POF), eHarmony, and I even decided to join BBW for the hell of it.

Knowing full well that the pattern I have noticed over the last year would probably continue I still thought ‘hey, why not?’  I mean it is so hard to meet people nowadays, with the internet being the major source of connection between people so it seems.  Plus the last place I really want to pick up is at a bar or a club because I know what that looks like.

Post # 29

This should be the last post in this five part series of writings.  In the end I hope I have given a very detailed account of my relationship with TF and how he affected my life.  I am sure many readers have thought about why I have written this in such a way where I came across as being conceded, presumptuous and probably a little smug.  The answer….I didn’t write this entirely for them, the readers, I wrote it ultimately for me.  The reason…I needed to release this story so I no longer feel that I own the pain.  I needed to get it out of my thoughts so I may perhaps get to the point of being able to let him go. In saying that, I also wanted to share my story with others, the good and the bad, whomever wants to read it, as all of it was a part of my life, it was a part of me and whether I like it or not, it always will be.

For those of you who have read from the beginning, thank you.  Thank you for taking the time to read my story and share in the events of my life.  I hope you have enjoyed thus far what you have read and I encourage you to continue to read as I post future writings.

Where was I….The phone call…

Post # 26

Please read New Friends…(Part One) and Broken Hearts… (Part Two) before proceeding.

So I received an email from TF and when I saw his name I felt butterflies in my stomach.  It had been so long since we had talked and seen each other and I was anxious to read since we had now reconnected.

I opened the email and quickly read what it said.  I was not surprised when I came to read that he too had been trying to locate me via email.  He mentioned that he could only remember one email address and I obviously no longer used it as I never responded.  So when he checked the website where I had messaged him, he answered.  Now the funny thing was as he pointed out was that the email address I used to contact him was one that he hardly checked anymore.  It was the address that we used a few years back when we did a  blog site together called ‘He said/She Said’.  He said that it was very rare that he checked that account but for some reason he checked the next day and found my email.   We were ecstatic.

Post # 25

I cried for the first time in months tonight…actually the last time I cried I had come to realize that I had lost my best friend.  It is amazing how easy it is to walk down the self-destructive path…and in my minds eye all I see is everything that I hate about me and my life.  I have been doing this a lot lately (criticizing myself) and I can see why I have perhaps stumbled into a bout of depression.

Post #22

I wrote a post yesterday (which I deleted) that indicated that I was going to come back and begin writing again. I mentioned that it would happen but I didn’t indicate when as I truly thought that it would take me a bit to decide what I would write about. Well as I laid in bed last night I began to think about all the different things that have happened in my life since I last made a post (April) and I decided that I do have quite a few things to discuss. With that being said, I am back to tell you more…

Post # 13

I know it’s been a while and I apologize. Much has occurred since the last time I wrote and I promise I will update just as soon as my exam for school is over….however I would like to comment on something…

Why is it that every time I go to a clothing store, I go to the change room with about 20 – 30 items and come out with nothing? I absolutely hate that. I went tonight to three different clothing stores and at each one I came out with nothing. It is really annoying actually.

Furthermore, because I have to go to the “PLUS” section the choice of style(s) looks like something that women with no fashion sense would wear. I mean pastel colours of ALL shades and ugly designs with flowers on everything really does not scream out “stylish” or “young and hip.” I see more and more young women going into these stores and yet the clothes are for aged women….things need to change.

The main purpose for my evening venture tonight was to find a skirt for my birthday outing tomorrow night. Not to my entire surprise, but I could not find a skirt that was above my knee. All the ones I tried on were either just below the knee or they hit the floor. Why should this be difficult? When I asked, the sales ladies could not show me a skirt length I was looking for. This is pathetic and of course if I went to a ‘regular’ or ‘petite’ store there would be tons of skirts the length that I want. But do you think I would fit into them? Hell No!

I don’t understand the thought process of the designers for ‘Plus’ women’s clothing….majority of the clothes are ‘older’ looking and with younger generations turning towards ‘Plus’ size clothing you would think that the designers would want to market to this population and thus make the clothing more appealing. However, in their defense I must say it has got a lot better. I only pray that they continue. Please stay away from pastel!!

Looking at the very curvy, very voluptuous, no bulge mannequins, I always leave stores feeling very jealous and very frustrated that a plastic doll can look better in the clothing than me. Go Figure!

So here’s to the ‘Plus’ size women of the world!!!

Until next time,

‘It Is What It Is’

~ Purplehaze 81 ~